Negotiations Skills Training
With
over twenty-five years of proven industry experience, the
Negotiations
Training Institute of America is the recognized leader in
negotiations training, consulting and performance coaching. Through public open
enrollment seminars and private on-session training sessions, we
have helped leading corporations, non-profit organizations and governmental
agencies improve their ability to
negotiate
better outcomes for their constituencies.
First-time
negotiators as well as those with the greatest
competitive
drive and amount of first-hand experience and
negotiations
wisdom can benefit from our time-tested workshops. Whether focusing
on
negotiating
a contract with a vendor or jumping in to the often-stressful
car buying process to
deal
with a dealership, our courses provide useful skills, proven techniques
and various classroom role plays to help you
become
more aware of negotiations that you must face on a daily basis.
For more information on our negotiation skills training courses please
contact us.
About
Resolving Conflict and Preventing Violence
What can you do when you find yourself in a conflict that may lead
to violence? How can you best behave to calm and resolve such a situation?
It helps to
understand that everyone has three modes of behavior (some people
say that we all have three parts to ourself):
- Child
mode - Focused mainly on our own needs and desires. Demanding.
Can be very emotional. Easily hurt. May not stop to find out the
facts of a situation. Acts impulsively.
- Parent
mode - We think that we know best. Judges. Tries to punish
or scold.
- Adult
mode - Deals with situations as they really are. Tries to
solve problems. Speaks quietly and calmly. Listens carefully to
others. Empathizes--tries to see other points of view.
Usually, a potentially
violent conflict results when both people are behaving in child
or parent mode. The conflict can be resolved or diffused best when
at least one person is in an adult behavior mode.
How Can I Tell When Someone Is On the Verge of Violence?
First, trust
your instincts: If you are feeling frightened--even if you don't
know why you feel frightened--it is good to be cautious. (Later,
you can talk over your reaction with someone.) Don't do anything
to provoke the other person.
Specific signs
of impending violent behavior:
- Fixed stare
Muscles tense - clenched fists
- Short breath
Red face
- Loud voice
Standing too close
How Can I
React without Provoking Violence?
- Take a deep
breath. Calm yourself. Avoid overreacting.
- Speak quietly
and calmly.
- Listen carefully
and considerately to the other person without interrupting. Hear
them out. Keeping quiet allows the other person to explain more
fully and to think about what they are saying with less pressure.
- Respect the
other person in your viewpoint and your language: Address the
other person as "Sir" or "Miss".
- Try to repeat
back what you understand about the other person's viewpoint. Ask
questions that reflect your understanding of their viewpoint and
incorporate it in your question: "I understand that you need
a letter from this office. Do I have that right?" This will
help the other person feel understood and engage them in a rational
discussion.
- Suggest a
calm, problem solving approach to the situation: "Miss, if
we sit down together, I'm pretty sure that we can talk this situation
out."
- Be empathic.
Imagine how you would feel in the other person's place--if you
were in their shoes.
- Try not to
be judgmental. Don't do or say anything to embarrass or humiliate
the other person. Don't accuse, punish or scold.
- Don't crowd
the other person. Stand at least two or three feet from them.
Respect their personal space. "Squaring off" with the
other person (standing close, directly face-to-face) is too challenging
and can lead to escalation.
- Stand to
one side or at an angle.
- Allow the
other person to vent their feelings as much as necessary.
- Ignore challenging,
insulting or threatening behavior from the other person. Redirect
the discussion to a cooperative approach to the issue. Answering
challenges promotes a power struggle.
- Keep your
body language, posture, gestures, movement, and tone of voice
non-threatening. The other person is more likely to respond to
these nonverbal aspects of your behavior than to the explicit
content of your statements.
- Try to avoid
an audience. Onlookers can make it more difficult for people to
"back down"--in some cases they can actually incite
the other person to intensify the argument. Suggest that you go
somewhere else to discuss the problem. (Don't go somewhere isolated
where you would be unable to get help if you need it.)
- Keep your
statements simple, clear and direct. Avoid complicated, confusing
explanations and big, obscure or pretentious words.
- Don't take
anything personally. Understand that people say things that they
don't really mean when angry.
- If the other
person becomes extremely hostile, try to have someone else available
so that you are not alone.
- You may not
always be able to give the other person what they want, but offer
them something that you can give. Emphasize what you can do for
them.
- If an argument
becomes heated, put off your need to make your point or express
your feelings until another time and place.
- Don't rush.
Take as much time as needed for the situation. Trying to hurry
usually makes the situation worse.
- Give the
other person an exit. Don't back the other person into a corner.
Leave the door open to discuss the problem further at a later
time. Tell them that you will think it over. Don't insist on a
final resolution immediately.
- Use humor
(but never at the other person's expense). Make fun of yourself,
if you can.
- Tell the
other person directly that you don't want to fight--that you want
to resolve the situation in an friendly manner.
- Apologize
for anything that you might have done which offended the other
person (even if you don't think you did anything offensive).
Brooklyn College
For Negotiation
Skills Seminar information please
contact
us.
Related:
Negotiation Course
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