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Negotiations
Training
Pitfalls
for Women to Avoid:
Common
Negotiation Mistakes Faced by Women
So-called "luck"
does not discriminate. It does not judge based on gender, race or
creed. "Luck" is, in many ways influenced by preparation
and practice, not by nebulous factors outside of our control.
Those who fail to prepare or don't maintain their skills often like
to point to their failures as "bad luck" while those who
prepare and keep their skills sharp like to say they have "good
luck". Let's face it - many of these factors are under our
own control. We all make mistakes and we all act or fail to act
based on our thoughts, upbringing and experience. Women admittedly
face more obstacles than men in the
business world. What women do to deal with and overcome these
obstacles will determine the type of "luck" they face
throughout their career.
One area that
is often pointed out by women as being particularly unpleasant is
the act of negotiating.
In general, men are more like to enjoy or tolerate negotiations
than women. Why? Since we are all wired differently, there are a
variety of factors. Some may state that women, at times, are less
aggressive than men and are uncomfortable deal with the sometimes
aggressive nature
of a negotiation. Others point out that women have a tendency
to avoid conflict and therefore do not like some of the inherent
conflict found during
a negotiation. For the purpose of what we want to do, the reasons
are not relevant. We understand people have different reasons for
feeling uncomfortable. What we want to do is show women how to avoid
the most common negotiation
mistakes faced by women so that they can increase their comfort
level and improve their chances of success at
the negotiating table.
Here are three
common negotiating mistakes and some tips on how you can deal with
them in the business world:
* Number One:
Failing to Recognize Negotiation
Opportunities - Prices, requests, terms, requirements and conditions
are not always what they seem. It is important to consistently question
whether certain items are negotiable or not. For example, many companies
utilize boilerplate agreements that cover terms and conditions applicable
to sales, partnerships, licensing agreements and the like. Often,
corporate legal departments view these agreements as starting points
and realize that most parties will want to negotiate terms. Certain
items may be non-negotiable and simply not open for discussion will
others will have room to move. What is important is knowing that
many situations
are negotiable. We encourage people to ask questions. Why is
this term this way? Would you be able to flex on this? If I could
do this, could you do that? It takes practice to spot opportunities
for negotiation. Fortunately, once identified, women can use
their innate abilities to build relationships to work around negotiable
situations to find a solution that works for all parties.
* Number Two:
Not Being Able
to Say No - This is more common than many realize. Many of us
find this trait both inside and outside the business world. So as
to not offend a person or ruffle one's feathers, many women are
afraid of putting down their foot and simply stating no. Since relationships
are often so important to women, they feel that by caving in or
acquiescing, they are protecting
the relationship. While this may sometimes be the case, the
most common result is that they will end up with a less favorable
outcome than they could. If a deal is not as good as it could be
or is not fair, you should be willing to point this out to the other
party. This can be done in a professional and polite manner that
protects
a relationship. Ultimately, you don't want to accept a deal
that is not in your best interest. When an offer is unfair or not
worth pursuing, you should be willing to walk away from the negotiating
table.
* Number Three:
Failing to Act Naturally - Some people are so intimidated
by negotiations that they end up putting on a façade
or a persona to try to deal with anxiety and stress. This is never
a good idea. Let your own personality and character traits shine
through. Avoid acting in a manner that is inconsistent with your
true character. Some women act too aggressively thinking that being
hard-nosed and firm at the table are what people expect when negotiating.
Not so. People expect people to be themselves. Utilize your natural
negotiating style. If you're a "charger", be aware of
the pros and cons of your negotiating style and understand how to
flex accordingly so that your interactions with others are positive,
even when the heat
of a negotiation starts to rise.
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