Negotiations
Training
Negotiating
with Friends:
The Importance
of Relationships
You have one
hundred dollars in your pocket when two friends approach you. The
first friend is an old college chum that you've known for nearly
twenty years. The two of you go way back. The second friend is a
new neighbor who moved into your subdivision a little over a month
ago. Both have asked to borrow the one hundred dollars. To whom
would you loan the money? Armed with this basic information, the
answer is simple. Given that only one person could borrow the money,
you would loan it to your old college friend. After all, having
known this person for nearly twenty years, you would know if they
will be good about repaying
the loan.
Negotiations
are no different. While this illustration is simplistic ,it paints
a very important illustrations that relationships are very important
when negotiating
with others. When negotiating
with someone who you do not know, you essentially walk to the
negotiating table with a whole list of "blanks". These
blanks have yet to be filled in be in because you don't have any
experience dealing with this specific individual. Given enough time,
you will get the opportunity to fill in the blanks but, until then,
you have to deal with a considerable amount of trial
and error.
There are three
reasons why relationships are important in a negotiation:
* Trust
- When you negotiate with someone you know, you have already had
the opportunity to build a level of trust. The other person isn't
a "stranger" to you. You know whether they will be bluffing
during a negotiation or shooting you straight.
* History
- Having known someone for an extended period of time, you will
have an understanding of what makes them tick. You will know how
they make decisions, what is of greatest concern to them, what they
have at stake, in which way the involved others and more. History
provides you that critical
information that enables you to just about predict how discussions
will proceed.
* Vested Interest
- With relationships come a vested
interested in the outcome of a negotiation. Those who have long-term
relationships don't want to see a partnership or a customer/vendor
relationship fall apart over one bad meeting. By negotiating
with someone you know, you can rest assured that their concern
is similar to yours - negotiating the best deal while preserving
the long-term health of the relationship.
This being said,
we recommend that you always try to negotiate
with those whom you have a relationship. Granted, this may be
difficult to control. In some situations, negotiations are a one-time
deal and you don't get to pick the other party. However, there
are cases when you can control
the timing and the personnel involved in a meeting. Depending
on your experience with a company, you may be able to request a
specific person to be included as a spokesman for the other side.
If a negotiation is not urgent, there may be ways to delay
a meeting while working on building
a negotiation. Having a trusted individual on the other side
will be more likely to help you achieve a mutually
beneficial outcome.
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