Negotiations
Training
When
Your Body Does the Talking:
Watching Your Body Language
I remember
once sitting in a sales meeting with several
colleagues when body language led to miscommunication between
a sales rep and the company
president. The meeting had been running for a while when the president
abruptly stopped and sternly said to a sales rep who had been leaning
in his chair with his arms crossed, "your body language sucks
right now." The rep was a bit thrown off. It turned out he
was fine being in the meeting. The main issue was that the A/C was
turned on too high and he was just cold.
While the sales
rep received a flat out reminder of the importance
of body language, many of us who take
part in negotiations don't have the benefit of being called
out at the table. Generally, what we find is that most people make
their own assumptions, right or wrong, and the color their interactions
based on their
perceptions. Imagine the same sales rep meeting with a customer
to discuss the final details
on a contract. When the customer says, "I wanted to find
out if you would be willing to work
with us on shipping terms" and the sales answers, "let
me see what I can do" while sitting in his chair with his arms
crossed, what signal is he sending? For the most part, it's not
a good one. Even if his words are positive, the customer is going
to take note of the sales rep's body language.
Here are some
general body language tips that will ensure that the messages you
send to the other party are consistent and enable you to eliminate
misunderstandings:
* Use Open Body
Language - This is no different than what we recommend when someone
is tasked with giving a presentation. Closed body language like
crossed arms or sitting with hands in one's pockets can send out
a message of disapproval or boredom. If sitting literally at the
negotiating table, keep your hands on the table. Use gestures to
make your words and actions consistent. Make sure the other party
truly understands what you are saying by keeping your body language
and the words you use consistent.
* Don't Show
Your Hand - Some people have nervous ticks or gestures that make
it clear when they're uncomfortable or feel like they're under
pressure. Know what your habits are and learn to control them.
If you have a tendency to chew on a pen when you aren't comfortable,
focus on keeping your pen down when it is not being used. Ask a
colleague who knows you well and has seen you in action if there
are any tell-tale signs that allow the other party to know your
thoughts.
* It's Not Polite
to Point - Pointing can send a very wrong message. Regardless of
the situation, it can appear very
aggressive and accusatory. If you must gesture towards someone
at the negotiating
table, use open hand gestures.
* Avoid Being
Stone Faced - Some of the most aggravating people to deal with both
inside and outside the business world are those who don't have any
facial expressions. Learn to use facial expressions that match your
words. Let your nonverbal message reinforce your
verbal message. Other actions like nodding in agreement when
appropriate are helpful, as well.
* Use Good Eye
Contact - People dislike talking to people who won't look at them.
It sends a signal that the person may have something to hide, is
nervous, lying or is simply in over their head. When negotiating,
use eye contact to show that you are listening
and are interested in the discussion at hand. You can also utilize
eye contact by occasionally breaking eye contact when you need to
ponder over a point. Most people will recognize the situation and
will allow you to think without interrupting. You should look for
this tendency, as well, in case the other party needs to mull
over a proposal or idea.
When its all
said and done, you want to make sure that you are sending a consistent
message. Your words, facial expressions, eye contact, gestures and
body language should all provide a clear message to the other party.
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