Negotiations Training

Ask and Ye Shall Receive:
Questions in a Negotiation

You've probably heard Rudyard Kipling's famous quote on his "six serving men", a phrase that underscores the importance of asking questions...

"I keep six honest serving men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who"

This sage piece of advice has been in circulation for over a century and has helped millions of people in all types of situations. Designed as a memorable phrase, it stresses that through questions come knowledge. This is certainly the case during negotiations. Questions are powerful tools that enable you to confirm assumptions, fill in areas where knowledge is lacking and gain a better understanding of the other party's aspirations and concerns. They also help you guide a discussion my asking questions that may lead a negotiation in one direction or another.

Of course, if the other party has done their homework or has a reasonable amount of experience negotiating with others, they will also realize the importance of asking questions. This is fine. It is up to you to determine how much information you want to share in order to move a negotiation towards an outcome that will please both parties. You want to be straightforward but at the same time need to remember that some individuals will use information against you. Your experience should teach you how much or how little to communicate to the other party in order to keep from jeopardizing or damaging your interests.

Prior to negotiating, you should focus on what questions you are going to ask the other party as part of your negotiation process. What questions are the most important to you? Is there information that is absolutely essential for you to gather? What type of information may the other party give you that will provide you a better idea of what is at stake for them? In which ways can you use questions to suggest possible concessions or ideas that may be of benefit to both parties?

When we say to focus on questions, we don't want you to just think about them. We believe you should write them down. Have your list of questions prepared on a sheet of paper or in your laptop so that you can easily access them. One person on your team may be a designated note-taker while you are focused on leading the discussion. Determine roles prior to a negotiation in order to make this process as smooth as possible and to gather the type of information that will help you.