Negotiations Training

Seven Sins of Negotiations:
Seven Dangerous Negotiation Mistakes

Throughout our workshops and on our web pages, we spend a great deal of time talking about the most important "DOs" of negotiating. These are the key concepts and time-tested techniques that should be followed when negotiating. We focus on areas such as the importance of understanding your desired outcome prior to negotiating as well as important principles like not giving a concession to the other party without first asking for a concession in return. One can't overemphasize the importance of these concepts.

While one must focus on positives, it is equally important not to overlook the negative aspects of negotiations. That is, there are a whole host of "DONTs" that all of us need to be aware of to be at our best when negotiating. These mistakes occur all the time. In some cases, they happen by accident... and they happen to the best of us. At other times, some people make these mistakes "on purpose". They ignore conventional wisdom and sage advice and choose to negotiate in a manner that is not effective or, at times, downright unethical.

Listed below are seven negotiating mistakes that we should avoid at all costs in order to be successful negotiators:

Mistake #1 - Overlooking Conflict - Conflict can pop up in just about any negotiation. Often, it is due to miscommunication. At other times, it can result from wide differences in the interests of each party. No matter the reason, ignoring the conflict won't make it go away. When faced with conflict, work with the other party in a collaborative manner to resolve it. Leaving it unresolved may lead to a lesser outcome or failure to reach agreement.

Mistake #2 - Making Concessions Liberally - How many times can we stress this important fact? One should never make a concession without asking for a concession in return. If the other party wants you to budge on a particular item, you should ask for something in kind. "If you were to provide us with X, then I'm sure we could meet your request to provide Y."

Mistake #3 - Flying Off the Handle - One should never lose their temper during a negotiation... at least not in front of the other party. If anger is getting the best of you, ask for a time-out to regroup and gather your thoughts. Allowing anger to control you will hinder your ability to reach a negotiated agreement.

Mistake #4 - Failing to Allocate Enough Time - Whether you are insisting that the other party make decisions faster or are personally facing a time crunch, not setting aside enough time can prove deadly. You run the risk of accepting a lesser deal for the sake of saving time or poisoning negotiations by being too forceful on the other party.

Mistake #5 - Seeking to Dominate - There is no room for domination or intimidation in the win-win negotiation process. If you are truly focused on seeking to reach the best outcome for both parties, you must maintain a collaborative outlook. If your modus operandi is domination, you may just win this negotiation but chances are that in the future you won't even be allowed to set foot in the door.

Mistake #6 - Excessive Arguing - What's that old saying about trapping flies with honey? If you have a difference of opinion with the other party, arguing won't get you any closer to a resolution. Seek to influence by stating your case and helping the other side see your position. Arguing will only cause the other party to dig their heels in deeper.

Mistake #7 - "Loose Lips Sink Ships" - Those who talk too much at the negotiation table not only fail to truly "hear" the other party, they are also more apt to reveal sensitive or important situation. As they say, be quick to listen and slow to speak. Make your words count. Providing too much information may give the other party the information they need to dominate you in a negotiation.